[tina]

Hi everyone
Im new to this, but I am pulling my hair out and don't know which way to turn.
My son is 10 and has High Functioning Autism.
Edward was really really difficult when he was younger but I have had a relatively easy year with him, until now.
In the last few months he has become uncontrollable, moody, agressive and violent. He is smashing my house up, causing rows between me and my partner, and won't give his older sister a minutes peace.
I  can't get through to him, and I don't know why the sudden change.
I reached the end of my tether last week and Pete said that he would take charge and try and control Edwards behaviour, now Edward says he hates him, although I know its just that he doesn't like to be told what to do (like all kids).
Edward has totally regressed, his conversations go round in circles for hours, he's more obsessive than ever and seems to have no concept of time, making him exceptionally impatient.
I have just been reading about Detomamin, and other drugs aimed at reducing the levels of toxins in the body. Has anyone else heard of this? Or tried it?
I feel like I am looking at last resorts.
Thanks
Tina

[Julie]

Hi Tina

So sorry to hear that you've all had a hard time.  My son too has High Functioning Autism (Asperger's Syndrome) and was really really difficult when he was younger.  He is 8 now, and is a lot better than he was, but still difficult.  I am just hoping that the same won't happen to him when he's your son's age!

Anyway, the first thing that came into my mind, is that you should contact the Child Development Centre to speak to the Doctor that I assume your son is under.  The Doctor should be able to suggest something to make life easier, and/or bring his next appointment with him forward. 

I have not heard of Detomamin, I'm afraid, so I can't offer any advice about that.  Does he take any other medication at all?  My son takes Fluoxetine, which helps a lot with his anxiety.  But it doesn't suit everyone, so may not your son.  I was very afraid to give my son medication.  I had the Fluoxetine in my cupboard for months, because reading the side effects scared me so much.  Eventually, I plucked up the courage to give it to him, and once the dose was right it really made a difference to him and our whole family.  (I have an older son who has a really hard time of it from his brother).  Everyone in the family needs to be considered, and if it makes your child feel better then that can't be a bad thing - can it?

I think that we all know that having children with extra needs, such as ours, does cause extra strains on marriages and partnerships.  My Husband and I have been together for a very long time (married for over 20 years) and thank goodness we have because if we were going through this in the early days of our relationship, I don't think we would have survived.

Just one thing that I have thought of.  Would Edward be anxious about school after the long Summer Holidays?  My son is always anxious about school, especially after the Summer Holidays.  We always see a change in behaviour at this time of year.  Maybe something is bothering him at school?  The only way some children can express their problems is by lashing out at things or the people that they love.  Not very helpful, I know, but it mght be worth looking into.

Anyway, we are always here for you.  Keep us posted!

[pixie]

First of all welcome.

I have 3 with Autism so I know where your coming from.

The sudden changes may well be to do with the changing seasons and also puberty starting.

Just a couple of thoughts to mull over as I'm a little rushed this evening.

I hope you soon feel at home here.

[jeg]

Hi Tina,

I've only just joined this board and am reading back threads.
Is the medicine also known as detoxamin?
Do you think your sons new behaviours are due to him having toxins? Have you run any tests? It could well be the case! Or he may have bacteria or yeast causing these new behaviours.
There is a yahoo group that I belong to AutismBiomedicalEurope. The parents on this forum are treating, or looking into starting biomedical interventions with their asd kids. Some of the children do not have asd, some have allergies, excema, asthma and other conditions. They are agreat bunch of knowledgeable parents, if you post your concerns about your little boy there, someone is sure to offer sensible advice.
I'm a big fan of 'cleaning up' the diet and environment.
I agree, hormones are probably kicking in, this will not help matter!!!

J

[Speeds]

Hi ya

Firstly welcome to this forum.  If nothing else that I can offer to your situation I can at least read and reply so you know you have somewhere to come and chat.

My son has PWS which has some challenging behaviours.  I enlisted a clinical pyschologist to  help us (school and home) which was helpful.

Don't take no for an answer in getting an appointment as they are feew and far between but even if it is someone for you and your partner to talk to over this then it will help I hope.  It did for me - just silly things that we had not thought of.

I am sending you a big hug - ok virtually but I do hope this forum will help you.

[paula]

Hi Tina!

Thanks for taking the time to join our Forum and I hope that you find it useful - you are never alone with so many lovely people here.

Both of ours have got challenging behaviours and there are times when I just want to shut myself in the cupboard and hide! Our daughter gets very anxious when we are away from home, so trips to places like Tesco are an experience and a half! (We call her Gollam when she is in this mode!!) Our son is at the mild end of the ASD continuum but his obsessions and repetitive nature, together with his physicality all increase when he is worried about something. What I am trying to say is that there are obviously many different reasons for our children's anxieties and behaviours and you definitely need to get help from either a psychologist or the Child Developmental Centre as Julie and Speeds have said.

Another thing that I would say on a general level, is that there is a big difference between punishing behaviour and behaviour modification. Our daughter has ADHD and attachment disorder,and if I told her off every time that she did something 'naughty' I would lose my voice!! When I do get cross with her and have a good old shout, it makes me feel better, but has absolutely no impact at all!! Her psychologist has told us to completely ignore the bad behaviour - no reaction makes the action pointless. It does work, but is soooo hard to do.

With our son, his psychologist (we have a collection!) has said in no circumstances shout at him, as again it has no impact and just increases his anxiety levels, making his behaviour worse. We have to pick our battles and yes, tell him when his behaviour is inappropriate but in a very simple and calm way so he can understand (he has learning difficulties too).

Sorry if this sounds rambley, but until we got some help, we were treating our children more along the traditional lines of discipline but this really didn't work for us as our children's problems, particularly our daughters are so complex. 'Controlling' behaviour is difficult, especially if you really don't know why your child is exhibiting more challenging elements. You say that your son has no concept of time. Have you used egg timers or similar visual device? Our son has absolutely no concept of time, so we measure things in Lazy Towns - one L T is half an hour!!

I really do wish you the best. Living with a challenging child is very difficult and is bound to have an impact on everything else. The quicker that you get advice and help, the better and as Speeds says, shout loud!

Lots of love to you all

Paula

[tina]

Hi Everyone
thanks for taking the time to post a reply.

Good news is everything seems to have settled down, amazing as we have just moved house. Edward is loving the new house, he has lots of space and we introduced a very strict routine, which I think has made Edward more aware of what is expected from him.

I think when he is difficult I look for help and answers but when it all calms down I tend not to chase things up. Note to self.... must look into ways to help him for next time we have an episode!!
I will be looking into the Fluoxetine, its when he becomes anxious that all the problems with his behaviour occur. I don't think I have any hope of getting it from the doctor he sees at CDC though, to be blunt, she is a hippy, who does not beleive in drugs. She keeps telling me, "He's Autistic, get on with it". He takes Melatonin to sleep, but she keeps trying to stop the prescription, but without it he will literally sleep only 2 or 3 hours, and then only lightly.
Edward seems to of got used to the idea that Pete "is in charge", and that is working well, really takes the pressure of me, (and I can and do pass the buck a bit). I am so grateful to have a partner who helps, after so long on my own I really notice the difference.
Lastly Edward has been difficult at school, which is unheard of for him, he actually swore at a teacher. I have to say I laughed because Edward hates swearing and tells me off for it, also he doesn't say boo to a goose at school normally and I am sure they all think I am a neurotic mother there. Anyway they have decided to bring in a counsellor once a week to speak to him..... although I have yet to hear any reports.

Thanks all for your kind support, fingers crossed, its pretty calm here at the moment. And yes I am touching wood!
Tina

[paula]

Really pleased that things have calmed down. Long may it continue!! x

[Julie]

Great to hear your news.   

It does make me cross to hear that the doctor at your CDC does not agree with medicines to help children with these problems.  Does that Doctor actually have experience of having a child like yours or ours at home?  I am sure that they are trained up to the hilt but they cannot know the emotional drain that it is to have a constant strain on the whole family - and they need to realise too that it might give the child some sort of peace too!
Now I can get down off my soap box after my little rant!

Obviously all medicines have side-effects and when you read the list it's frightening!  But if this works for some children then you shouldn't be denied to try it at least.  If you ever do try Fluoxetine, your child will probably be put on a very low dose and if that doesn't work so well then it is increased until you find the right level.  That's the way it has worked for us, anyway.

I also find it bazaar that the school have enlisted a councellor to speak to him once a week.  What on earth do they hope to achieve by this?  Of course he may have been unsettled at school recently due to your house move? 

Best of luck and let us know how everything goes for you.