[RockNRollMom]

I'm new to your group - I have four special needs children that we've adopted.  We've had two of the children fo 6 years and 2 of them for just 2 years.
"A" is 7,pit he has attachment disorder and pituatary dwarfism which require daily injections
"JZ" is 7, she is mentally retarded, learning disabled, ptsd, reactive attachment disorder, learning disabilities, and is terrified of being washed in the bathroom(due to the severe sexual abuse she encountered the first 5 years of her life) but loves the pool, go figure- we think she make have sensory integration disorder, the oppossite of her brothers where light touches heart her, ie water spatter, wind on her skin, etc. 
"E" is 5, he has sensory integration disorder, reactive attachment disorder, and has acted out sexually mimicking the behaviors of his previous abusers
"JB" is 13.  He has sensory integration disorder, learning disabilities, and pituatary dwarfism that also require daily injections-

Since this is our life somedays are very normal, for us at least, but normal is relative.  Other days I don't know how I am going to be able to go on being their advicate, mother and friend.  I would never hurt or leave my children, but although I have an amazing supportive husband I feel so alone.  I hear friends talking about their bad days with there "normal" children and I want to slap them into reality. I need a place that really can relate to me and my family withoug me having to aoplogize for the actions of my children when their behavior is not their faults int he first place or their choice.

[Speeds]

Hello and welcome

I so understand what you mean.  I ony have one son but when he has a bad day no it is not like other kids bad days.  When he is being naughty aged 9 like a 5 year old would, I am not a bad parent because that is what his syyndrome makes him do - but people do not understand that unless I take time, time I usually have not got at that time, to explain.

Come chat on here to us.

Big hug and you must have your hands very full

[RockNRollMom]

Thank you for replying with such support.  And sorry that my post was so full of errors!  My computer was acting slow and wouldn't show what I was typing for several seconds.....anyways I have to cancel hostessing bunco tonight.  I've had such a rough several days physically and emotionally with the kids.  Every corner I turn I seem to hit a brick wall when it comes to someone willing to give JZ her neurological work up.   I just can't imagine cleaning my whole house and hostessing 12 woman who have no clue what I'm going through....I just don't want to fake it tonight.

[johnvb]

Hi and welcome from us too!

Your post struck a note with me - we so often find that our "mainstream" friends having a bad day sounds more like paradise to us. I remember once a friend was planning to come over for the day and she texted in the morning to say she couldn't come as she was having a nightmare. Sounded really stressed and we spent all day panicking about what had happened to her. Anyway, it turns out her kids had woken her up at 6am rather than 7am, so they were "all so tired"! We'd be quite happy with that I tell you!

We have 2 kids, Michael is our own and he has an undiagnosed condition, including learning delays, motor skills problems, autistic traits and a kidney disorder. We found out recently that he has verbal dyspraxia making his speech quite difficult. We also adopted Elise, she has a very rare genetic disorder which gives her some learning delays, but mostly behavioural things like ADHD, dyspraxia, and what her disorder notes describe as "tending to be frustrating and difficult to manage" whatever that is supposed to mean! I guess it is meant to make us feel better on the days we aren't doing so well at being patient parents!

Great to hear from someone else who adopted children with additional needs - we often find people look at us as if we are mad when we tell them. Perhaps we are?

John

[RockNRollMom]

@John,

You're right I get a lot of weird looks when I tell people that all four of my kids are adopted from the foster system and that they all qualify as special needs.  The looks and comments are even more out there when they find out that we adopted by choice and have choosen not to have biological kids.  People just can't get it, or look at us like we're angels or something. lol

Nice to meet you!

[paula]

Hi!

Don't you just hate it when people tell you that you are wonderful and "I don't know how you cope!"!! How do they know?!! Amazing the number of people who really don't get it, isn't it.

As John said, your post struck a note with us and I can so relate to the feeling of pretence that everything is fine and the sense of faking it with everyone. All you want to do sometimes is curl up in a ball with your duvet and shut out the world, but instead life goes on. It is tough some times, but don't forget that we are always here for you.

Big hugs

Paula (John's social secretary, maid, cook (and wife!))

[RockNRollMom]

Nice to meet you Paula, I love all of the hats you wear...secretary, maid, cook, wife.  lol

I'm thankful to have your support!

[paula]

And we are thankful to have you here xx

[parentsofdisabledchildren]

Hello and welcome to the forum.
Think you have done a great thing!