[laniboo2010]

I'm a single mom of a 7 month old Down's Syndrome baby. I have soooooo many feelings and worries and no one to talk to. I work full-time at a resturant and go to scool full-time for nursing (LPN). The father doesn't want anything to do with us and has only seen her once when she was 5wks old. "She looks funny" he says.    I'm so worried that I can't do this. I don't understand why I was "chosen" because I'm not strong or patient... I'm just me... Nothin special... so how am I supposed to raise this special, loving, beautiful baby?

[Cassie_89]

let me start of as saying hello, I am a 21 year old of a baby with nager syndrome who has a trach and g-button. she is now 21 months old and doin much better,but when she was 2 months old she stopped breathing and I had to due cpr on the side of the road and have had many obsticals since then,but we have over come all that and never thought twice about doing it different. No I am not a single mother,but I do most everything on my own for my daughter and all my bf does is work so I am lucky there,but know how u feel. Never ask y just feel blessed to have a child this special in ur life because first of all she did mot ask to be here sceond screw her dad if he wants to be that way,that is y they make child support!! I believe ur r a strong enough women to be able to not only care for urself,but ur daughter as well, the most important thing is to believe in urself and tha anything is possible.

[Speeds]

Hi

Welcome to the forum.

No one ever knows why they are "chosen" and yes life will be scary because we have to tread a slightly different path to others.

Come on here when you are scared, or PM me.  We may not have the answers but we can be there to listen to you and offer advice and comfort.

Not sure if this helps but my son is at mainstream and in his class is a Downs Boy who is dong very well.

Big hugs - I am sure you are a super mummy and her daddy atm is missing out.

xxxxxxxxxx

[paula]

Couldn't agree with cassie more -especially about child support!

I am a mum of two children with additional needs - one of whom is adopted. When I first found out that my son was sen I felt as though my whole world was crashing in on me and even though I have got a fantastically supportive husband, I felt so alone. I remember wanting to cry all the time, but trying desperately not to do so in front of my son so as not to upset him. I remember thinking that i had been blessed with a beautiful baby and that i was so lucky but it really didn't feel that way and in fact i had never been sadder. I blamed myself, like you asked why i had been chosen and felt so inadequate and unprepared.

One thing that i would say is that finding out that you have a child with additional needs is definitely akin to a bereavement. It is a process with many highs and lows and sometimes you think that you have dealt with it and something out of the blue will knock you straight back again. Some people seem to deal with the situation seemingly quickly whilst others always grieve for what might have been. You are at the very beginning if this journey and emotions and feelings are very raw, combined with the fact that you are having to deal with a very young child, special needs or not.

Nine years down the line and i can truly say that i cannot imagine life without special needs children. Yes, we still have our down times and i worry constantly about the future. However, having our own unique, noisy and frequently exasperating little family has made me so much more appreciative of all the little things that people take for granted. Nearly everything that i do now, whether it is committees, fundraising or this web site revolves around special needs and i really do feel that i have personally become a better person for it. If I could have seen me in the future 9 years ago, I really wouldn't have believed that something good could have ever come out of such a desperate situation.

Although it feels like it, you are never alone - there are some. great people on special families and there are many other specific support groups out there too. As speeds says - we don't know all the answers but we can try and offer support and a listening ear as we all know where you are coming from.

Take care.

Big hugs. Paulax